In the last few weeks I’ve thought about this topic as my outlook begins to take a different direction. Have there been any positives in my life that have come with my infertility? The answer is yes……
1) I’ll never have to get a Vasectomy. For years my wife used to joke with me that after we were
finished having children I would have to get “snipped”. I used to cringe as most guys do when
it comes to anything with that part of the male anatomy. Well that’s no longer necessary.
Even though my boys have failed me, they get to remain in tact.
2) I’ve become educated on three topics that I never really thought about: Infertility, Donor
Conception and Adoption. Infertility is something I never thought would affect us (little did i
know). Donor Conception I thought was something that single women and lesbian couples
used to have children, never thought there were heterosexual couples out there that went that
route. Finally I can’t say enough good things about people in the adoption community I’ve
connected with. There are so many of them that I could probably write a full blog piece
thanking them (one day I will). Prior to the last few months the only thing I knew about
adoption is that my close friend from high school and a bunch of kids in my town I grew
up in were adopted.
3) It’s forced me to become a more open minded person especially in my marriage. I’ve had to
learn to become more patient and communicate better with her. While we’ve always had a
great relationship (You don’t stay married for almost six years and stay together for
over 13 years if you don’t) we had room for improvement. In the long run I think we’ll
benefit from it.
With that being said it doesn’t change the fact that IF SUCKS. It doesn’t change the fact that we’ll never have a biological child that is related to both of us. Nor does it take away the life long grief that will never leave me. But maybe there is a silver lining in all of this. Only time will tell.