Parents Support of Children Going Through Infertility

On this Mother’s Day I thought it would be a good time to share an experience I had recently with my mom. Overall our parents have been incredibly supportive of us these last 16 months and really our whole lives. Out of any of our parents my mom wants to be a grandparent more so than any of them.

When I called my mom to tell her that I had a zero sperm count she was devastated. She began to wonder if it was something she had done. Prior to my birth she had thyroid cancer and was concerned that the treatments had caused my infertility. I remember being on the phone with her and hearing her holding back the tears. It broke my heart, because the reality was nothing she nor my dad did causes my infertility, it was just something that happened.

This brings me to coming out about my infertility two weeks ago. Most of our friends and family knew any way so it was only a select number of people who didn’t know. I decided to share an article on male infertility to bring awareness that infertility is not just a woman’s issue. One person made an ignorant comment on how I should just get a dog. The other comments were very supportive including a comment attacking the ignorant comment which came from a fellow infertile (Thanks Jackie :-)). But the comment that touched me the most came from my mom, which read:

I am so proud to be your mother.

When I read it I teared up. I told her that I was the one who was proud to be her son. This was a woman who was told her three year old would never function in a regular classroom. She fought for me every step of the way during his childhood. She was there when I struggled in school, socially and in other aspects of life. She is a big reason (along with my dad) how I became the adult that I am.

It kills me that my mom isn’t a grandmother because she would be a great one just as her mom was to my brother, cousins and myself. It’s the aspect of infertility that isn’t talked about enough, the impact it has on families and how important familial support is. We’ve been lucky that we’ve had that great support because there are others who aren’t so lucky.

On this Mothers Day, I would like to thank my mom and the other mothers of those going through infertility who are supporting their children. We wouldn’t be able to get through it without you.

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11 thoughts on “Parents Support of Children Going Through Infertility

  1. kiftsgate

    This post is beautiful, touching and it made me cry. I’m among the lucky people who get great support from parents (not so much from father in law), so I know exactly what you talk about when you say it hurts to think of how great our parents would be as grandparents. It sounds like your infertility coming out worked well despite one really stupid comment. Well done! xx

    Reply
  2. sarahchamb

    It’s hard “coming out” and hearing those few negative comments. People who are not well connected with their own suffering aren’t able to connect with the pain of others. Keep speaking, the male perspective is important and under represented. I myself feel rather uninformed in this area.

    My Mom has told me on a few occasions she is just as proud of me, if not more proud, than if I had seamlessly brought home a baby. It means the world. I was thinking of writing a piece on how to be a good mom (or perhaps parent) to an infertile. Perhaps you can contribute?

    Reply

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