Anytime a life altering event happens it’s natural for us to wonder what would our lives be like without that event. Infertility is no different no matter how our journey ends it changes us forever. Life will never be like it would have been had infertility not entered our life.
Prior to deciding to re-investigate pursuing infertility treatments this past weekend I had done a lot of research on living a childless/free life after infertility. I connected with many great bloggers and people in Twitter land who had lived the experience. One of them was a fairly recent connection who has a blog “No Kidding in NZ“. The woman behind the blog is a great person who has lived life and has helped others along the way. Her blog is a must read for anyone in the infertility community. Her latest blog post “Hersey” discussed appreciating the life we have and the things not having children has brought us.
The post got me thinking about the things I have done and the things in my life with K that infertility and not having children has brought us. The first thing that came to mind was my 2014 weight loss and getting back into running. Though I’m currently sidelined going through physical therapy due to injuries sustained from running, it is something that has brought joy to me.
But if there is one thing that infertility and not having children allowed K and I to do was adopt the joy in our everyday life in the form of our Greyhound Lila. We had started to try to have kids midway through 2011. In the summer of 2012 after a year of trying with no success still unaware there were any issues K & I looked into bringing a dog into our home. Retired racing Greyhounds seemed like a great fit as they are lazy dogs and with K & I working full time and not being home during the day.
On August 12, 2012 a few weeks after submitting an adoption application and being approved, we attended an adoption day. A few days prior I emailed the adoption agency about a dog we saw on the website that K & I liked. We were informed that the dog would not be at the event but there would be other dogs there. We went into it thinking we would just look at dogs that day but not come home with one. We first walked two dogs that were younger that seemed to have a lot of energy. They were cute dogs but didn’t seem like a good fit we figured we would look at one other. The third dog we walked was 5 years old, very pretty but a bit more reserved than the others. I would later learn that in the middle of walking her the dog leaned on K (which sold K). We asked for some background on her and was told that a few weeks prior this dog was adopted by another family but returned because she always looked sad and was always hungry (the latter is true). With hearing that along with the lean K & I were sold that this was the one for us.
Our lives changed for the better that day. The first few months with Lila were rough. She had separation anxiety when we left for work each day and it took a good six months for us to work through that. It took her a full year before she started to open up to us and show us her personality. K & I both had to have extreme patience with Lila. Almost two and a half years later Lila has become a happy part of our everyday lives. She has become a very friendly dog that loves people. My favorite part of each day is when K comes home from work and Lila gets extremely excited wagging her tail and hopping around.
If it had not been for infertility K & I would have had a two year old toddler running around the house. I likely would be 20+lbs heavier never getting back into running. And most importantly Lila would not be a member of our family. I have no idea what Lila’s life would have been like if she would have gone from home to home until someone with enough patience gave her a chance to show the world what a sweet loving dog she is. It makes me sad to think about the life she might have had if not for infertility. At the same time I am grateful for being a part of Lila’s life and that we’ve given her the home she deserves. I’m grateful for the life she’s given us.
I’ve said in previous posts that I would trade anything not involving the health of my family to not ever have dealt with infertility. I would trade all accomplishments and material items in exchange for parenthood. But the thing is Lila is a part of my family that likely wouldn’t have been w/out infertility. I wish she could have been anyway but I doubt she would have been.
I have no idea what the future holds as K & I begin to have conversations about re-investigating pursuing infertility treatments. As I said in my previous post I hope it brings closure to our infertility journey one way or another so we can move forward together. Regardless of the end result I’m confident that new doors to new opportunities will open up to our lives. I’m sure they won’t be easy to adjust to but they will be things I’ll be grateful for.