My anxiety along with depression has been out of control lately because of the upcoming appointment with the urologist. The last thing I wanted to do was push it back when I had waited two months to make the appointment. I wanted to just get it over with.
Recently K started a new job after a two year hard search. Due to her starting that new job she wasn’t able to take off next Wednesday which would have left me going to the appointment alone. I thought about going alone but I didn’t feel it would be right to. This is our journey and it impacts her just as much as it impacts me. The goal is for us to become parents together not just me alone.
So I have moved my appointment to Tuesday May 5th when K will be able to take off to come with me. It’s not what I wanted to do but what I had to do. A lot of this infertility journey for a lot of us is doing what we have to do rather than doing what we want to do.
The challenging part will be controlling my anxiety as well as addressing my depression another two weeks. It’s been hard enough as it is and will be even harder. But nothing about this journey has been easy so I don’t expect it to now. I actually expect it to get even more difficult.