I am an early 40’s happily married man with a rare untreatable form of unobstructive azoospermia. This blog is about my infertility journey and the road that led my wife and I to a childless life.

16 thoughts on “About

  1. Jonathan Boldt

    I just wrote an ebook, “Shooting Blanks: a husbands perspective on missing the mark and dealing with infertility” and was wondering if you’d either like to review it or have me write a guest post for your blog. It’s a humorous look at what it’s like dealing with infertility, us guys don’t like to talk about it but I believe there are a lot of men that would love to read this and be able to connect on some level and feel like they aren’t alone. Also, it gives our wives a look into what we are thinking and how we are feeling. I would love to email you a pdf for free if you are interested.

    1. Danny L

      Hi, I’d be interested in your ebook, Jonathan. I’ve been trying to make more people aware of the conditions that have caused this over in the UK (are you from the US?) as there isn’t much available!

  2. YoungInfertile

    I wasn’t sure where to leave this sort of comment, but I found this blog through the Inspire boards. I just want to say that as someone who was diagnosed with infertility at age 20 (I’m 25 now), this blog has provided me with much comfort. Although I am not battling male infertility nor am I married or even considering kids yet, I feel like we are on the same page when it comes to many of our fears, frustrations, and emotions. I hope I can survive this. It’s nice to know I am not alone in what I’m experiencing.

    Also, I am from NJ too!

    1. gsmwc02 Post author

      I actually read your story the other day on the resolve boards, so heartbreaking. I can imagine your fears at your age about the future and what it could mean for relationships. I am so sorry.

      Where in NJ are you from? I grew up in Northern NJ near NYC. I now live in Central NJ near Princeton.

      1. YoungInfertile

        I grew up in Edison, went to Princeton U., and lived in Clinton for a few years. I live in Mexico City now though.

  3. Danny L

    Interesting to read this and refreshing to hear another’s perspective but from someone younger. I have thought about what I might have felt like like had I found out about my infertility when I was a young 20something man. I reckon I would have been devastated; I was a soldier (professional musician primarily, soldier secondarily) until the age of 24 then a student teacher from 25 so a diagnosis like that would have knocked me sideways. I didn’t meet my wife until I was 34 so was still blissfully unaware of my syndrome and its repercussions so I guess finding out aged 40 was possibly better? Who knows and it’s something I think about when out cycling long distances by myself…

    1. YoungInfertile

      It’s hard to say which is better. They both suck but in different ways. If you find out when you’re older, you get to spend more of your life in blissful ignorance but you also have less time when it comes to treatment options, alternative parenting options, and so on. If you find out when you’re younger, you spend more of your life under the dark, depressing cloud of infertility, but you have more time to consider the full ramifications of any path you take on your journey to become a parent. You also have the benefit of time when it comes to new treatments…I sometimes like to console myself with the possibility that when I’m ready to become a mom, who knows? Maybe they’ll have engineered self-generating ovaries or something :p At the same time, I do wish I could spend my 20s in a more carefree state without constantly ruminating over my infertility. This is a lot to deal with at any age, but dealing with it in your 20s has the added element of being able to relate to virtually no one your age when it comes to this problem (even though I know we’re out there, however few we are).

  4. Danny L

    Yep. I apologise, I thought you were male (wonder why?) so it is a whole different thing for you. I understand your predicament, now. I guess if i had found out when I was in my 20s, it would have made finding a partner difficult as I would have always had that in my mind. Several of my past relationships wanted children and I thought they would come along when the time was right when I was married, as I’m a traditionalist). That would not have been an interesting conversation!
    At the moment, my wife and I (no awkward conversations there as I found out last year – been married three years in April) are undergoing our first IVF round using a donor (for my bit) as I am never biologically going to be a father but can in other senses (nurture, not nature) so fingers crossed…

  5. Pingback: An Award with 7 Random Facts About Me | My Perfect Breakdown

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