When I joined twitter years ago I thought it was a great resource to get the most up to date news on my sports teams. Years later never did I think it would be such a powerful tool for more serious matters in my life such as infertility and researching alternative ways to become a parent. One of the many wonderful people I’ve connected with on twitter is a woman by the name of Lesley Pyne who does a lot of great work providing resources to help support childless women by circumstances. This morning she shared an article via twitter written by someone else I just connected with on twitter, Robin Hadley. In this article Robin analyzes men who are childless by circumstance and how their lives are impacted. Needless to say the article really hit home for me, especially this part:
In addition, research has indicated that childless men have a similar level of yearning for parenthood as childless women and, furthermore, childless men had higher levels of anger, depression, jealousy, and isolation than women (Hadley, 2009, 2012).
I have experienced a lot of jealousy, depression and want to be isolated from friends and family with kids. They are too much of a reminder of what isn’t in our life right now because of my body. It’s not because I’m not happy for them it’s that they are triggers for my pain. It’s upsetting but at least pieces like this make me feel as though I’m not alone in feeling this way. At least I know I am somewhat normal in feeling this way among infertile men.