“You Are Not Alone” The Infertile Men Fraternity

As part of Resolve’s National Infertility Awareness Week, I am participating in their bloggers challenge.

One of the many reasons I started this blog over two years ago was to connect with others going through similar journeys.  Though statistics show that one in six couples go through infertility you run into few of them in real life.  Of those infertile couples one third of them are due to male factor (despite the myth that infertility is a woman’s problem).

Men by nature are not transparent when it comes to emotional topics.  We are raised to be tough, keep things on the surface and push any emotions beneath the surface.  Thus there are very few men who are infertile who do speak up about their journeys.

I recognize that I am not every man and not every infertile man out there.  I am unusual in that I’m comfortable in speaking up about infertility and male infertility.  That doesn’t make me a better man than those infertile men who aren’t.  I’m just different though I am not alone. 

Society’s stereotypes of men has created this stigma with being an infertile man.  Though personally I have not felt it there are many men who are infertile feel like they aren’t man enough to get their wives pregnant.

For the infertile men out there, I am here to tell you that you aren’t alone even if it feels that way.  

There are many infertile men out there.  Men like Tom Arnold and Gordon Ramsey who have had the courage to speak up.  You aren’t alone when you feel inadequate that you are unable to get your wives pregnant the way most men are.  You aren’t alone when you are the only one of your friends who isn’t a dad because of your body.  You aren’t alone when you struggle to put the smile on your face when deep down you hurt.  You aren’t alone when you feel hopeless that infertility isn’t something that you can fix.  You aren’t alone when you are scared that you’ll never become a dad.  You aren’t alone when it feels like a bad nightmare that you cannot wake up from.  

Rather than thinking you are alone, the reality is you are part of a Fraternity that is made up of many great men.  Regardless of whether or not you go onto become a dad you will always be a brother in this Fraternity.  I am proud to be a part of this Fraternity and hope the other infertile men out there are as well.  Because none of us are alone.